I was reflecting on my situation and came to realize that how much curiosity relies on some degree of ignorance. If you know everything about something, you won't be curious about it, because there isn't more for you to know; on the other hand, if you don't know anything about a topic, then how are you supposed to at least gain some interest in it, which requires at least a little bit of knowledge into the topic? The key of igniting and perhaps also sustaining curiosity is this: there are things that you know, yet there are even more things that you don't know; based off of the things you already know, you would like to keep learning about the unknowns. Hence, the further you go, the more you are satisfied by the knowledge you've gained, but the more you also realize there's more for you to learn (which should not be intimidating but intriguing). 

        I was thinking about all this because I was reflecting on my current situation of job hunting. I've lost most of - if not all - my curiosity for my occupation because I think I know all of it. I know what my job responsibilities are, I know what these responsibilities require and what they will result in, I know what I need to do and how much I need to invest or sacrifice to perform these responsibilities. I also know, I think, what will happen if I move along the career path of this job. I know what skills will be asked, I know what a senior researcher's day will look like, and based on all these knowings, I don't think it's the kind of job, or the kind of daily life I want to live. Certainly, all these I-knows rest upon my self awareness as well (to which I have sufficient confidence). The thing is, I think I know all about the job that not a little curiosity is left. There has to have some ignorance to make me want to do the job again.   

        I guess this is also why I get bored easily. I need to constantly move into unknown zones to keep my curiosity (and motivation) going.

        清早醒来之前做梦梦到回到老家了。逛商场、过马路、吃米粉。逛商场是逛的那种大商场里面的小店铺，卖衣服的，装潢有点老旧。逛了一阵我想喝杯凉茶，看到一个凉茶店，和柜台上用裸露红糖堆成的一座小山，有些小飞虫在飞。凉茶店没有我想要的凉茶，于是我走出商场准备去别的地方买。出来就要过马路，双方向的车都开得很快，完全没有停下来的意思。我有点害怕，因为很久没有在没有人行道也没有红绿灯的地方过马路了。（这里有点和现实混合的意思，因为在现实中我也确实很久没有这样过过马路了。）最后好不容易找到两个方向都没有车的空档，我就快速跑了过去。跑过去之后遇到了我妈和我姨妈一行人，她们要我去吃粉。粉里面有炸花生米、酸萝卜丁、酸豆角、葱花，等等等等。似乎都能闻到香味。可惜还没来得及尝尝汤的味道我就醒了。汤究竟是什么味道呢？醒来了之后还在想，想了很久也没想起来。也许是鸡汤吧？还是普通的肉丝汤？但是我太久没有回老家了，算了算居然已经有八年时间了，想不起来粉汤的味道也不奇怪吧。
        我奇怪的是这些原来曾经发生过的，我以为已经忘记了的事，没想到只是埋在了记忆深处，可以借由梦的载体再次出现在意识里，细节也十分清晰（比如对过马路的恐惧）。梦中的感受之所以能如此剧烈，也许就是因为人在做梦的时候真的毫无防备吧。白天清醒的时候我也不会去想着老家，也不会去想要吃粉，更不会想到粉里应该有酸萝卜丁。做梦的时候这些全都出现了。老家对我来说意味着什么呢？一个心理上绝对安全的地方？也许不是。但老家确实是一个有很多人保护我的地方，只是现在那些曾经保护我的人也都慢慢变老了。
        醒来之后有点想回老家。不过我对老家的兴趣，也显然是建立在“一定程度的无知”上的，因为老家很多我不喜欢、不习惯的地方我都太久没回而想不起来了。如果都一清二楚，估计就不想回去了，哈哈。